Things Dont Always Go As Planned

Wednesday was the big day where I had my little embies put into me. I haven't stopped thinking about them since that moment and I know this sounds corny but I love them already. I would like to say the morning went as planned with no hiccups, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. But all of us in the IF world know things often don't go as we plan.

First, the doctor had some bad news for me. Three of our embryos had died during the night. WTF? But on the positive side, the three embryos he was putting into me he considered "Grade A" and he was very optimistic about our success. However, we would now only have two embies to freeze and they are not what he would consider "Grade A." I'm still thankful I have some to freeze. Maybe they aren't perfect, but at least it gives me something to hold onto.

The nurse had told me Tuesday night drink water, take your Valium an hour before the procedure, but do not empty your bladder two hours before the procedure. Um OK, but I really do have the bladder the size of a pea. I made it through the procedure and was suppose to lay resting for a 1.5 before my journey home. I tried so hard to not have to get up and go to the bathroom, but my bladder wouldn't hold out. I was beginning to feel so uncomfortable and I knew that soon if I didn't go I would have an accident. As gross as it sounds, I would have been willing to have an accident if it gave my babies a better shot. But C. went to get the nurse and both her and the doctor agreed I could get up to use the restroom. I was all teary eyed, mad at my damn little bladder, but my doctor's reassurance that I didn't screw anything up helped and I tried to go back to my positive thoughts as quickly as possible.

I've been resting since then. Eating pineapple, rubbing my belly and praying that these little guys grow. My doctor said I could official go back to normal activities today except for no lifting anything over 10 pounds, no sex or exercise but since it's Friday I decided to stay at home one more day. I also don't plan on doing much over the weekend. I'm not sure if any of this will help, but it feels like it's the best I can do for myself right now. I also have to say I feel very blessed that my DH (C.), family, friends, and fellow bloggers have given me so many positive thoughts and support.