Happy Cinco De Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! I can't believe how long I've been away from my blog, so long it now even has a new look; which I'm not sure I love! Yesterday, was my last day of working three jobs for awhile, and I'm thankful. I will still be working two jobs over the summer (I wish it could be only one) but as you all know this journey is expensive. I'm looking forward to only working 35-40 hours a week. Of course I have an amazing list of things to do that should occupy most of my time. I wish we could hit the lotto so I could take the summer off. We are going to try to get pregnant again in June! Yes, June! I'm freaking out now, although I know so many things have to fall exactly in place for this to even work. Our frozen embryos might not make it to transfer, and even if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant, with my history there are no guarantees that I will carry to full term. But I'm taking a deep breath, and praying that our last two frozen babies will be our chance at parenthood. I'm so ready to leave the land of If..... Our test results came back negative for everything, except we have found out that I have MTHFR (Mother F*****) so our doctor is hopeful that with that being taken care of things will work out. He would prefer us to do a "fresh" round of IVF. But since we just had to take out a loan for a new roof, that is not in the cards for us. I start Lupron May 16th!I'm going to do some research on grants for IVF and look seriously into adoption now that I have more time. Honestly, if this round does not work for us I'm not sure we will pursue fertility treatments anymore, but I've said this before! Damn, I wish I didn't want to be a mother. Why do I feel so deeply in my soul that I'm meant to be a mother, when I can't get pregnant? I will take all the positive thoughts and prayers you can spare for our frozen guys, who I pray more than anything make it into this world. I'm going to catch up on all of your blogs this weekend and have a drink later for Cinco de Mayo! I hope things are going well for all of you. I have missed you guys!