Moving on and keeping strong

This week I finally had my appointment with my family doctor to receive my referral to have my blood work completed to find out if I have "natural killer cells" The appointment did not got as I expected, but in the end my doctor said she would make sure my referral was written, and would support whatever decision I made. The truth is I would have the tests done without the referral. I think it's important at this point in the game. But if I can save over $800 with the referral, I'm happy to jump through the hoops, as you guys know IF is not cheap! My family doctor thinks I should take a step back from trying to become pregnant again and focus on adoption. I'm open to adoption. I would love to adopt and it's been on my mind a lot lately. But as all of you know it's not an easy process. It's not like I can run over to the local Target and pick up a baby, and I still have those two frozen embryos that I would love to become a little baby that I carry home from the hospital someday. My family doctor thinks my body has been through a lot and the fact that I'm turning 39 in November doesn't help my odds. OH MY God am I really going to be 39? Where has the time gone? She made some valid points and I believe that there is a time that we all have to throw in the towel. But I also believe that it's not my time. I do believe it's time to get more involved in the adoption process though, to start finding out more information and looking at organizations that we would be a good fit for. I started researching before but became overwhelmed with all of the information available. As much as I love teaching college I'm looking forward to the end of April when the semester ends. This will give me more time to research and also prepare my body for our last two embryos. Today I believe that if I really want to be a mother I can make it happen. I just hope it's sooner rather than later!