Saturday, January 8, 2011
I have spent the last week looking at our options and trying to make some solid decisions; should we keep pursuing fertility treatments and try IVF again or move forward with adoption? We have decided to see a new specialist and try our luck again at IVF. I have to admit I'm nervous, I'm afraid of having the same results. The miscarriage last year was detrimental for me. But, I know in my heart we have to try again. I don't want to have any regrets later. I'm looking past the "what ifs" that could go wrong, the debt this is costing us, and reflecting on the end result of having a beautiful baby with C. I really want to be a mother, sometimes I wish I didn't, it would make my life so much easier. I'm scared because I know this will be our last shot for IVF, the last year we try, and I'm praying and hoping that we will be successful. I know so many of us want this, it's truly unbelievable how many of us struggle with starting a family. It really doesn't seem fair, but I know life often isn't fair. Now I need focus on getting get everything together: my records transferred from my "old" specialist to the "new" specialist, and a list of questions for the "new" specialist. I'm currently reading Getting Pregnant: What You Need To Know Right Now by Neils Lauersen and I'm wondering if there isn't a problem that has been missed. Is something wrong with my thyroid or could I have PCOD? I know I have had cysts on my ovaries in the past. Maybe I'm just looking for something to be wrong, something more explainable than "unexplained infertility." Can anyone recommend some good books on infertility?