Saturday, February 25, 2012

Where Does The Time Go?

I remember when I was a kid and all the adults around me would talk about the time passing so fast. I thought they were crazy. But now in my late thirties I understand what they mean. It seems like just yesterday I turned 30, and today we have a niece that is turning 20. Seriously? Am I old enough to have a niece that is 20? I guess so. I really hope she doesn't have children before we do, that would be a tough one to swallow. I was really, really hoping to be pregnant again by now. I wanted to have a baby this year, in 2012, the year of the dragon. But the process is moving slow and it doesn't look like that will happen. I also wanted to have a baby on 11/11/11 and somehow survived that not happening. Funny how in life we are forced to just move on. Time stops for none of us, and at this point I would rather be cautious than to rush through and end up with more heartache.

The lady from the lab in Boston called me about what needs to happen regarding my blood work for the Natural Killer Cells. I have two options. One I can call around my local labs and find out if anyone will be able to perform this test if I bring in the kit and materials. Or I can use the labs third party phlebotomist who will come out to my house or work and draw my blood for an additional $50. Who knew that there were mobile phlebotomists? This may be a better option for me since I'm assuming the mobile guy or girl would be more familiar with this test, but something about this process seems a little strange to me. I can't shake the image of a strange man showing up at my door, with a pale face saying, "I'm here for your blood!" The lady from the lab is sending me the kits and instructions so hopefully things will come more together when the package arrives. The blood work will cost us $820 unless I can get a referral from my primary doctor (family doctor) stating that I need these tests done. It seems odd to me that I have to go visit my family doctor for this, but if I can save over $800 I'm willing to give it a shot.

I recently had a friend from high school have a baby, and I'm going to visit her and the baby this weekend. Her pregnancy was unplanned, but for whatever reason I'm feeling alright with her having a baby. Even though she is one of my only friends that I thought would never become a mother. When she was married in her twenties she tried to start her family. She didn't have a problem getting pregnant, but she suffered five early losses. The marriage fell apart and she has been single all of her thirties. I broke my rule and went to her baby shower, I survived it without any tears. I've bought gifts for her son and I'm excited to meet him. I'm not sure what this means for me, a year ago I'm not sure I could have stomached all of this. Right now I feel good about seeing her baby, maybe because she has been my friend for so long, maybe because she is my age and this leaves me hopeful for myself, or maybe because I know life certainly has not been easy for her. I'm not sure. I do know that I'm really starting to think God has a strange sense of humor.


  1. I was 19 when my niece was born. I was 38 when I found out that she was pregnant. She is/was 'just friends' with the baby-daddy and one night of heated passion with the condom breaking brought their daughter in Dec. 2010. She has lived with us since she was 19wks pregnant. Complete textbook pregnany & delivery. She came to me & my husband because she literally has/had no one who could help her. You're right, it was a very hard pill to swallow-still is sometimes, I won't lie. I never in a million years thought she's have a baby before me. We told her as long as she was in college &/or working, we would help her. So far, she has kept up her end of the bargain very well. I am so proud of her.
    It's amazing how hard infertility tries to literally kill a person....and yet we survive to live another day. Wish my eggs were as strong as IF :-) Good luck & blessings to you.

  2. It does seem kind of weird to see your family doc for this, but I agree, if it's going to save you that kind of money - go for it!

    I laughed when I got a mental picture of someone knocking at your door for blood though! :)