This weekend I wish I had more energy. I made a list of 25 things that I wanted to get accomplished, and I hate to admit it but only two items have been crossed off; which means I really need to get my act together today. I know the problem is me; honestly I don't feel like doing anything. Aunt Flow reared her ugly head Friday afternoon with a ferocity I haven't felt in awhile. I managed to go to an early dinner with a few close girlfriends on Friday night, and haven't been back out in the world since. Truthfully,I didn't want to go, but in the end I'm glad I did. They always make me laugh and make me feel better. However, I now have no desire to leave the house, or even return friends phone calls. I'm crabby and have no energy to give. I truly may have the blues! The pain yesterday was horrible, making it a day filled with Tylenol, resting, and I admit a few glasses of wine. My poor liver. This morning I'm feeling better, just lazy, unmotivated, tired, and I'm starting to have self-doubt; questioning if it isn't time to get out of the baby making ring. Days like yesterday make me wonder how much fight I still have left in me.
In other news, I went to see my high school girlfriend's baby last weekend, and he is adorable. He slept the whole time I was there, which was alright: I didn't have a strong desire to hold him. I don't think it would have upset me; I think I'm just nervous around newbies. I left there feeling excited, even though my friend S. hadn't planned on being a mother, I could tell she was going to be a good one, and that left me feeling content and leaving my heart in a warm place. Now if only I can get my heart back to that warm place today.