Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Future

We decided to get away for the weekend and I'm so glad we did. It was one of the best weekends I've had in awhile. It was nice to get away, shop, have a few drinks in a bar and watch the band, went to an art show and hung out at Lake Michigan. We got to visit with same family who knew nothing about my current loss. I tried not to stare at every pregnant lady I saw or small child. I was able to lose some of my sadness. I miss being pregnant, even though it was only for a short period. I miss thinking that we were going to have a baby coming in the end of December or early January. I wonder what my future holds. Will I ever get to be a mother? I've decided that I will use our frozen guys in August (assuming that everything goes well) and if that doesn't work move on to adoption. I've already started researching some agencies. There are so many. Does anyone have an adoption agency they would recommend or that they have heard good things about? If we are going to adopt I really need to make more money. I've enjoyed my current job as a career counselor. I love my boss and many of my coworkers but working for a nonprofit organization that has no room for advancement with minimal raises is difficult when looking at the costs of adoption. Plus I have been here for five years the same length of time we have been trying to start our family. Maybe it's just time for a change. It may sound odd but I'm really just feeling like there is a change coming. I remember my grandmother use to say "I can feel a change in the air" and that's how I'm feeling today.


  1. So glad you got some time away for the weekend - a well-deserved break! Sounds like a great plan of yours.

  2. I'm so glad you had a great time away. Thinking of you as your heart and body continue to heal...

    Mech and I are also thinking of starting the adoption process. We're planning to adopt internationally. I've heard that the Independent Adoption Center allows you to continue with treatments while adopting. They only do domestic adoptions. I've been in touch with several that do both international and domestic. In general, the policy is that if you become pregnant before the referral, your file is placed on hold until 12 months after the birth of your baby. If you become pregnant after the referral, your file is terminated (yikes... lots of $$$ lost). We're thinking about starting the process of adopting a girl from China, since that can take several years.

  3. Lovely that you got away.... can help so much for a clearer mind. Sounds like change may be a good thing and best of luck looking into adoption agencies... we will probably start doing that soon too. Thinking of you always xoxo