Monday, May 9, 2011
My first beta today was 960. The nurse said this was really good and I will test again on Wednesday. I'm thrilled to have been told something was really good. After our first IVF, I was pregnant for seven weeks. There always seemed to be something wrong. The first beta's numbers were low, they doubled slowly, the first heartbeat the found seemed slow. But I didn't care they had found the heartbeat and I believed I was finally going to be a mother. Than a week later there was no heartbeat. I have never been a deeply religious person but I'm praying this time is different. I'm praying I will finally get to be a mother. Strangely I feel less worried than last time, so far anyways. Maybe it's because I'm venting my feelings or maybe it's because I've realized that some things are out of our control. C. and I will be married for six years in August. Back then I planned on being pregnant within the first year or two. We have many friends and family members who started after us and have two or three children already. I hope this baby or babies stick around. For now I'm just relieved that something actually looks good! 4 weeks down and 36 to go! But whose counting right?